The Quiet Power of Showing Up

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The Quiet Power of Showing Up

It begins before the world stirs, before the sun has risen to cast its first golden rays upon the frost-laden ground. It begins in the hush, that fragile, fleeting moment where life feels as if it holds its breath. The clock says 4:30 a.m., but it might as well be eternity. For in that quiet, there is a sacred choice: rise, or roll back into the warmth of fleeting comfort.

You rise.

Habit is not glamorous. The daily grind of routine is not the stuff of dramatic headlines or triumphant finales. It is, instead, a quiet war—a war not fought with others but within oneself. The battle to wake while the sun still slumbers, to slip on a warm sweatshirt to balance the cold cement steps that are soon to follow with nothing but the resolve to simply show up.

Espresso pulls hot and strong, its aroma curling with steam into those golden moments of stillness. Savoring that first sip, feeling the warmth of it seep into your soul as it prepares for the work ahead. Today, like yesterday, like tomorrow, you will practice. Practice a new language—“God morgen,” you whisper to yourself, the Norwegian syllables foreign but hopeful: Good morning. You will read a verse of scripture, not to feel better, but to be better. Sweat will bead your brow as you cleanse your body of yesterday’s inertia. And when all is quiet again, you will sit—not to plan, not to fix, but to reflect.

There is a grace in consistency, a humility in returning to the same tasks day after day, knowing that each step forward is small, perhaps imperceptible. But oh, how those steps add up. Where others sprint, tiring themselves on the altar of impatience, you walk. And when they fall, you remain steady, unshaken by the fleeting glory of hares. “Sakte og jevnt,” slow and steady..

Do you falter? Of course. We all do. There are mornings when the bed feels like the kindest place in the world. But then, there is grace—a whisper that says, “It’s okay. Begin again tomorrow.” And so you let go, and give in.

The mundane of consistency is not mundane at all. It is the foundation upon which character is built, the scaffolding of a life well-lived. To rise each day, to give your all—not in fits and bursts, but in the steady rhythm of commitment—is to embrace that of the middle way. Not too much, not too little. Measured sways between two points on the pendulum.

And at the end of the day, when the sun has long since kissed the horizon goodbye and the world settles into its slumber once more, you find yourself spent. But it’s a good kind of tired—the kind that fills rather than depletes, that assures you that today, you showed up.

And tomorrow? You will do it all again. Not for glory, not for applause, but for the quiet, unshakable satisfaction of knowing that you chose to live.

The world may not notice your quiet victories, but you will, and that’s enough.

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Embracing the slow drip of change

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Embracing the slow drip of change

New beginnings often serve as a powerful reminder of the potential for change and growth in our lives. Committing to new habits can transform our daily routines and, ultimately, our overall well-being. Whether it’s dedicating time to exercise, prioritizing sleep, or improving healthier food choices, these habits require perseverance and consistency.

The process may be gradual, but each small step taken lays the foundation for a more fulfilling and balanced life. Embracing these changes with dedication are the drip drip of success.

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Fight Failure Friday

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Fight Failure Friday

Elegance in Simplicity

In an effort to continue to establish good habits (Norwegian: “vane” as opposed to bad habits “uvane”), my friend challenged me as he reframed his own goals for 2025 with a simple phrase, “More often than not.” At first, I balked, wondering if this was simply moving the goalposts and not really committing to the rigors of the metrics he had established the prior year. However, after talking more, I came to realize that there’s an added efficiency and inherent value in being able to simply and concisely saying: “These are the habits that will give me the desired outcome. I’m human and will give myself grace to fail, but aim to have the general trend tend towards success.” I often try to pack too much into an idea, too much into a sentence, too much into my own expectations of myself and consequently too much into my expectations of others. I need to balance my ideals with pragmatism and realize that this is exactly what I did in 2024 implicitly (realizing gains through habitual commitment and change), though I felt worse about it because my bar was set higher than my body and mind were able to give. I’ve recommitted then to a few simple metrics that I know will move the needle this year.

I know through years of tracking that my leading indicator in success is the time I’m able to to fall asleep. I’m always able to push through, get up, and power through a day, but when I’m rested, I accomplish more before everyone else is up and that extra 10-15% gives me the fuel to feel accomplished throughout the day. Therefore by 8am, I know what my day will generally result in.

“More often than not”

Means at least an attempt. No required minimum other than the simple act of action in the direction. One step, one word, one action meets this metric.

Means what it says. 4 out of 7 days, 183 out of 365 days. Tracked # Weekly Count (#/7): # Annual Count (#/365).

Means a system that you can’t hide from. Accountability distilled. In the question, “Were you successful this week?,” you don’t have to consult a spreadsheet. If you’re doing what you’re supposed to, you’ll be able to confidently answer and call out your own vulnerabilities. The remedy is triggered by around one simple system: bedtime routine.

My Categories and Metrics (in chronological order):

Norwegian Study 4:9

Scripture Study 4:9

Daily Workout 3:7

Writing 1:1

Counting Calories 1:1

Bed by 9:15pm 0:0 (though trending closer since being off over winter break)

Fight Failure Friday

Failure Friday has become a staple of traditional New Year’s resolutions that fall apart by the second Friday of the year (this year is Jan 10th - tomorrow).

Pick a friend, consider your leading indicators in your life and what’s important to you in the year ahead, and hold yourself and those close to you accountable. The brain can easily remember 3-5 things, so be honest with yourself and start small and build up. I already have my Norwegian and Scripture habits locked in, and daily workouts have been more often than not for the last 5 months. Therefore, I’m ready to look closer at going to bed earlier, adding more writing and doubling down on counting calories. Wish me luck, and keep me accountable.

Shout out to my buddy who’s keeping me on track, and leading by example!

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Before I can begin, I breath for him

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Before I can begin, I breath for him

Every morning begins the same way, yet now it feels wholly different. Before, I would roll out of bed to go through the motions, yet now a pull myself from one step to the next. Before I can even entertain the thought of facing the day ahead and look myself in the mirror, I drag myself to the treadmill in the corner of my garage gym. It's become more than just a piece of exercise equipment; it's a lifeline, a tether keeping me afloat and within my body.

As I step onto the treadmill, the weight of grief settles around me like a heavy blanket. Each step heavy, the weight of grief hangs heavy on my shoulders, pulling me down with each trudging step, as if I carry the weight of the world within me.

And yet, I keep moving. Because even as my heart is oddly ok some days and pangs in my chest other days, I know that I cannot let the darkness consume me. So I push myself first just to get up and go, then to go just a little bit faster, and maybe in a day, a week, a month to run, as if the physical exertion can somehow outrun the pain that lingers in the shadows.

But it's not just the treadmill that serves as a reminder of what I have lost. As I move through my workout routine to squats because it’s leg-day, what should be my favorite day, each breath that gets deeper and harder between reps brings me back to those agonizing hours spent with my child in my arms, watching helplessly as he fought to hold on.

I can hear the sound of his labored breathing, the sight of his tiny chest rising and falling with each gasp for air. I remember the feeling of my own chest tightening with fear and grief, the desperate prayers whispered in the silence of the hospital room to bring him peace.

And yet, amidst the pain and the heartache, there is also a strange sense of comfort in the familiarity of the ritual. As I struggle to catch my breath between sets, there is a strange sense of satisfaction and reassurance as I am reminded that I am still here, still fighting, still clinging to the fragments of a life that I once knew. Oddly, I’m also enamored by my strange pride in his tenacity and ability to push for as long as his little heart, probably the size of a small clementine, could.

Each drop of sweat that falls to the ground is an offering, a silent vow to honor the memory of Aiden by living my life with purpose and intention. Even on the days when the weight of grief threatens to crush me, I find solace in the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other, of breathing in and out, of moving forward, one step at a time.

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Pedaling Through Grief

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Pedaling Through Grief

As I sit here, sweat-drenched and breathless, the hum of the tacx bike trainer slowly fading down the background, I find myself reflecting on the journey that brought me to this moment. Just a few short days ago, the very idea of getting back into a workout routine felt like an insurmountable obstacle, an impossible feat in the wake of losing my precious baby. Yet here I am, pedaling through the pain, one revolution at a time.

I know the road back to fitness after such a profound loss will be anything but smooth. A small interruption from my kids has me jumping off early to give them an embrace. There have been days when even the thought of stepping onto this bike felt like too much to bear, days when the weight of grief threatened to drag me under. But there have also been moments of triumph, of clarity, of love, of fleeting glimpses of the person I used to be before my world was shattered.

Today's ride was one of those moments. As I pushed myself to go just a little bit faster, to pedal just a little bit harder through the pain I still feel constant in my chest, I felt a sense of liberation wash over me. For those precious minutes, the grief and the guilt faded into the background, replaced by the steady rhythm of my heartbeat and the rush of wind against my skin.

But even as I reveled in the sense of freedom that came with each pedal stroke, I couldn't escape the reminders of what I have lost. The echoing silence of the guest room with a scent of fresh paint that days ago been a nursery, the knowledge that no matter how fast or how far I ride, I can never outrun the ache in my heart.

And yet, amidst the struggle, there is also a glimmer of hope as I pedal towards an uncertain future while being reminded that healing is a journey and an exploration of the soul. It's not about reaching some arbitrary finish line or achieving some unattainable level of perfection. It's about finding moments of joy and solace amidst the sorrow, about honoring the memory of the one I have lost by living my life to the fullest.

So I will continue to pedal, to push myself beyond my limits, to embrace the pain and the joy and the bittersweet beauty of it all. Because in the end, it's not about how fast or how far I ride, but about the courage it takes to keep moving forward, one revolution at a time. And for today, that's enough.

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Back to Basics

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Back to Basics

Over the past couple of months, the struggle to get back to 5am CST wake-ups for morning workouts has been real. After spending two months on the west coast, adapting to Pacific time, my sleep schedule was completely thrown off track. Initially, waking up at 5am felt like a herculean task. But, slowly and steadily, through consistent sleep training and a determined mindset, I managed to form a habit. It took some time to adjust my body clock and transition back to the Central Standard Time routine. But now, finally, I can proudly say that waking up at 5am has become second nature. With each passing day, my body has grown accustomed to the early morning rhythms, and I am once again able to tackle my morning workouts with renewed energy and focus. It's amazing how we can adapt and reset our sleep patterns when we put our mind to it. The toughest part is still the nightly routine where I sometimes don’t get to bed or are awaken by kids. As long as I can be in bed by 9pm and get 6 hours at a minimum, I can reliably adjust my day to stay successful. The important piece to anchor this, I’ve found, is jumping out of bed and going to the restroom with a glass ready to down a large cup of water. As my body wakes in my garage gym with bright lights and a cup of black coffee, I allowed myself the time needed to enjoy the process and savor the peace of the morning hours. Before working out, I started a stretch routine, and now I add it after the main set. Little by little, 15 min a week and I’m back to my goal.

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MyXTRI Himalayan Everest Prize Virtual Triathlon 2023

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MyXTRI Himalayan Everest Prize Virtual Triathlon 2023

Through February, I’ll be double dipping my training as I compete in the MyXTRI Himalayan Everest Prize Virtual Triathlon 2023 for a chance to win a trip for two to Everest Base Camp in Nepal and earn more Points towards Norseman 2025…

https://raceid.com/en/races/11505/information

Tag @himalayan_xtri or #himalayan_xtri and #myxtri on Instagram when doing the Virtual Challenge, share or repost, and you can also go into the draw for 5 people to win an exclusive hand-crafted medal and cool HimalayanXtri Trucker's Cap after completing the event.

The HimalayanXtri Everest Prize Virtual Triathlon will close on 31st January 2024 and the draws made shortly afterwards.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hylanderik/


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Support

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Support

Plotting out the cost:

$450 Race Entry (Self Paid)

$650 - Flight

$250 - day-after hotel stay (2 rooms left)

$160 - Hydration - Salomon Vest (required to have hydration by event as it’s self-supported)

$3300 - Canyon Bike (Need to sell one of my bikes to upgrade to appropriate fit)

$100 - Lights required Equiptment (required to have hydration by event as it’s self-supported)

$800 Garmin Watch - For Navigation/Tracking/Training (20% discount from TeamZoot)

GoFundMe Approximate Total: $5710

Being prepared to chase baby #3…Priceless

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2024 Event Line-Up

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2024 Event Line-Up

The leading races this year are:

  1. Aug 3rd, 2024 Starvation Xtri - Extreme Triathlon - Utah $450 https://starvationxtri.com (A Race)

  2. April (TBD), 2024 Ragnarok - 100 Mi Gravel - Red Wing, MN $0 (B Race)

  3. October (TBD), 2024 Filthy Fifty - 25, 50, 100 Mi Gravel - Lanesbourough, MN $0 (C Race)

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The Filthy Fifty

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The Filthy Fifty

Race Report: the Filthy 50: 5:05:22

Blufftober Grind - Conquering the Gravel Beast

*Below is an excerpt in an experiment in AI writing
October 14th, 2023
The sun had just begun stretching its powerful rays across the rolling hills of Lanesborough, Minnesota, as I stood on the starting line of the Blufftober Grind. The crisp fall air kissed my cheeks, promising a day of challenging trails and breathtaking vistas. Today was a day made for gravel riding, and I was ready to let the gravel beast roar.
As the clock ticked down, a wave of pure adrenaline surged through my veins, propelling me forward. The hills loomed large ahead, taunting me with their steep inclines and winding descents. But I knew that within each challenge lay an opportunity to push myself, to dig deeper and discover my true limits.
The first few miles were a tease, with the packed gravel inviting me to find my rhythm. The crunch beneath my tires echoed in harmony with my racing heartbeat. But as I approached the first hill, the true nature of the ride revealed itself. The incline was punishing, demanding every ounce of strength and determination within me.
Breathing deeply, I attacked the hill with unwavering focus. The mucky patches made the climb treacherous, threatening to throw me off balance. But I danced on my pedals, allowing my bike to conquer each obstacle. With every turn of the crank, the hill relinquished its grip on me, and I soared over the summit like an eagle in flight.
Descending the other side, the wind brushed against my face like a gentle whisper of encouragement. The scenery unfolded in front of me, a breathtaking tapestry of fall colors and rolling vistas. The beauty of Minnesota in autumn could distract even the most focused mind, but I remained locked in the present moment, savoring every pedal stroke.
As the miles ticked away, the relentless hills and unforgiving gravel took their toll on my body. My legs burned with fatigue, and my hands gripped the handlebars with a steadfast determination. Yet, an unyielding spirit coursed through me, refusing to back down. I knew that as the challenge grew tougher, so did my resolve.
The second half of the race brought new hills, each one steeper than the last. My muscles were on the verge of cramping, screaming at me to stop. But within me surged a warrior's spirit, a deep well of strength that had carried me through countless races before. I drew from that well, summoning every ounce of resilience to power through.
Over five hours had passed since I embarked on this gravel journey. Fatigue had settled in, but so had the exhilaration of nearing the finish line. As I crested the final hill, the cheers of the spectators filled the air, igniting a renewed fire within me. I let gravity guide me down the hill, flying towards the finish line with an unmatched intensity.
Crossing the finish line, I had known that I would finish as soon as I took the first pedal, but it was reassuring that I was half way to my larger goal next summer. I had conquered the Blufftober Grind, tamed the gravel beast that had dared to challenge me. In this picturesque corner of Minnesota, on this crisp October day, I had once again discovered the indomitable power of the human spirit.
With a grateful heart , I thanked the organizers and fellow riders for an unforgettable day. The Blufftober Grind had tested me in ways I couldn't have imagined, but it had also revealed the infinite well of strength that resides within each of us.

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Day 31

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Day 31

When it’s -15 degrees out and -35 with windchill, it’s ok to stay under the down covers where it’s warm for a little bit longer in the morning to make sure the heater in the garage has time to work. Hot coffee in a Yeti is necessary to get the day started, and with tight legs yoga is the only way I can start moving. My left shoulder still aches (it’s been months now), but it paradoxically feels like it’s getting stronger after PT. I don’t think I have it in me to run much this morning, but will plan to take a shake and jog during my lunch break.

As it warms in the coming weeks, I’d love to still keep an eye out for a fat tire bike and convert my burley to add skis to pull the kids over the snow… Likely something for next year…

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Day 30

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Day 30

It’s negative 5 degrees feirenheight outside this morning while my garage heater is working to try to keep it at 65…

Bloated and a little sore on my left hip/glute and knees, I step into week 2 of daily rising at 4:30am. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not popping up, but I was working out before 5am, and it wasn’t a chore today. Still working on finding the grove to fall asleep earlier, but it will come. With a little one sick at home, it makes it difficult, but we are pumping vitamin c and being safe as best we can. It’s nice to be done before 7am having completed a solid 2 workouts: yoga for 45 min and 30 minutes of strengthening (leg (20 min) and core (10 min)).

As I’ve begun to feel myself dry out, I’m going to try a new moisturizer to add to the routine. I haven’t started swimming again, but the shoulder is starting to feel a little stronger. I’m feeling more refreshed, but my body is holding onto food. Time to push some fluids.

This week I think I’ll try to focus on completing the TrainerRoad prescribed workouts as I gear up for a big week.

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